Alpha and Omega
by BleachedMerc
Summary: Just believe and a miracle will happen. She will be with you until the end.


They held out their dirtied, scrawny hands in hopes of alms but received naught but the spit and ire of strangers. Holding close to their bony breasts the prayers of the ages, they clung to life in the sewage, filth, and grime. None would grant them mercy, and still fewer would acknowledge their presence. They were the invisibles and the testament to man's failure. Names meant nothing, dreams were nonexistent, and lives turned to ash with every foul wind, but their hopes grounded them and built a path leading the savior to their desiccant corpses.

Days turned to weeks, and weeks saw the cycle of seasons spin until a cold, harsh winter cut through the tired, hungry masses. They held fast on their beliefs, shivering a huddled together in the slush. Prayer after unanswered prayer slipped past their lips until all seemed to darken. And then...salvation. _She_ arrived and their hearts soared. Stellar in divine grace and poised with light flourishing from her every step, she approached with the glory of a saint and brought forth a new hope. This was the beginning of the blessed age and all rejoiced with tears of mirth and jubilee. The meek were at last championed.

* * *

Stella was on her way to meet with Noctis at the secret spot. She met him at the party last night and couldn't be more enthralled by his mysterious vogue and aura. He bewitched her like no one else and she yearned to learn more about the curious prince. But she'd never get that chance because a brutish thug jumped out of an alley and whacked her upside the head. After pinching all her clothes and shaving her bald, the thug ditched Stella's body in a trash can where it was subsequently hauled off by the finest sanitation workers on this side of Neo Pseudo Latin Japan.

Now sporting some fancy new shoes, a sparkly new dress, and a blonde wig made with real human hair, Luna was all set to become a princess! With a cutesy little "Tee-hee!" and an adoring wink, she traipsed down the street and fooled absolutely no one except for some hobos that were too cold, tired, and malnourished to be able to tell what she really was under all that bloodied, stolen apparel. She was promptly named Queen of the Hobos and crowned with a stained hat made of aluminum foil that reeked of burned grease and old fish. The hobos kissed the ground she walked upon and saw to fulfill her every whim. When she wanted jewels, they gave her some rocks; when she wanted fame, they drew her picture and posted copies all over town; when she wanted to marry Prince Noctis, they clunked the sucker on the head, gave him amnesia, and forced him to tie the knot.

Yeah, everything was going just great at Alley Castle Luna until Noctis's dad and bodyguards came looking for him. The hobos took care of that and they were finally able to eat a great feast after half starving to death for ten years. But when Noctis started getting his memory back by a smidge and wondered where his dad was, the hobos sacrificed all their hair shavings to make a suitable disguise for their eldest cosplayer. Oddly enough, that worked. Noctis didn't question it and he had tons of fun hanging out with dear old "dad" while dumpster diving for treats. But then Noctis wanted to play with kids his own age and not just dig around trash and kiss up to Luna all the time, so the hobos dug out the spare cardboard and shared some of their homemade friends—Prompto, Gladiolus, and that glasses guy that never made any real sense as a person, driver, or associate.

There was so much love blooming out of Casa Luna that God Almighty finally heard the prayers of the faithful. He opened up the pearly gates to His Kingdom and all were welcomed into his warm, loving embrace. The end was nigh, and Luna and Noctis took one more loving gaze at each other as they spooned corn syrup laced with LSD into each other's mouths while dancing naked in the moonlight.

Light blinded the fellowship of believers and they bowed their heads in grace. When the sirens sounded off, they didn't dare move away from the passion of their lord...

* * *

Officer Farron accompanied by a whole squad of police cars had the cult surrounded. She led the charge and detained all the crazies, who were cold, dirty, bloody, and foaming at the mouth.

"Those poor sods," she said while Noctis was being hauled into a cruiser, his body convulsing. She shook her head and looked at her partner. "Do you see what happens when you don't eat properly? This is why we have to have nutrition awareness in areas like these."

Officer Onion, who was studiously taking notes as his partner spoke, paused to look on in horror as the boys dragged Crazy-eyed Luna away kicking and screaming. "Murder, extortion, bad cosplay—I can't believe these people are all from wealthy suburban families!"

"Believe it, kid," said Officer Farron. "Ignorance makes monsters out of us all."

"True that, boss. True that..."

As Luna was being muzzled, a stick—really a Pooh stick—fell out of her cruddy wig. Roo hopped by and picked it up off the ground. He then helped the officers lock the elder cosplayer hobo's restraints extra tight before bouncing off to drop off another deliver at the Fellowship of the Pooh.

The end.


End file.
